As a kid, spring break was a wonderful week outside. As a college student, spring break was a ton of fun. As a parent, spring break signifies the beginning of the other craziest season of the year. While the rest of the family knows mom gets crazy around Christmas, for some reason, no one acknowledges the insanity that is the last nine weeks of the school year. It begins at Spring Break and ends in what my friend circle has christened “Maymember.” Maymember comes after Easter, spring photos and spring flings, and includes school testing, class parties, sports practices and the sheer exhaustion of another completed semester.
Last spring nearly killed me. Besides the regular elementary school insane dress up days, required testing, and other wacky celebrations, my husband and I were running three different baseball teams for our three sons. I work in property tax so, of course, April is nuts anyway. I also decided that was a great time to try to finish my bachelor’s degree. I was burning the candle at both ends and by Easter, I realized we were running at an unsustainable speed but there was no way to get out of everything I had signed up to do. I had to figure it out and fast.
The best way to survive Maymember is to write it all down. The first thing I did was purchase a desk size calendar. By coming face-to-face with commitments for a family of five, I was able to piece our schedules together like a puzzle. I argue that a printed calendar is better than a dry erase board because honestly, numbering those calendars feels like another thing to add to my to-do list. I don’t try to color code anyone. I don’t draw cute pictures. Just get the facts written down and move on to the next task. Taking that information out of your brain allows you to let go of planning anxiety. If I don’t write something down, I wander around from friend to friend, asking what I forgot to remember.
The next step is leaning into friendships and family. Let people help. I realize I am very privileged to live in the same town as my mother and mother in law. When they ask if they can help, I sure say yes. In recent years, making connections and friendships with peers has been a saving grace. We boymoms have created quite the gang. I’ll take 8u baseball practice and my bestie will step up for 1st grade musical rehearsal. Asking for or receiving help doesn’t make anyone weak. As a matter of fact, these friendships might save your sanity.
Finally, say no. Say no to mom guilt. Say no to social media pressure. Say no to expectations. You do not have to sit through every practice. Drop that kid off at the field and go nap in your car. That coach has your phone number. You don’t have to go to that Memorial Day Festival. No one will notice if you don’t take a picture in front of the photo op. Protect your peace. If you’re tired or uninterested, or stressed beyond belief, don’t go. It’s okay. Your kids love you. Your friends love you. You’re doing all you can, and you’re doing a great job.
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Alexandra Beaver is such a delight and an inspiration to all women. I’ve known her since … well, before she was born, her dad and I are cousins. I’ve watched her mature into the woman that she is today. Even though she resides in Texas, we deemed her an Oklahoman by proxy due to her deep family roots here in southern Oklahoma. Upon reading her story as it unfolded, I knew she was a great fit for Oklahoma WIT Magazine. Come Sunday morning, you can find her sipping coffee and snuggling with one of her kids.
During her down time, she loves going to see any type of live music. She also loves getting swept away by one of her favorite authors, Diana Galbadon, in the ‘Outlander’ series, which is written in the historical Scottish Highlands.
Working for a tax consultant agency, Alex’s WIT has her asking all the questions in order to get things done. She’s a problem solver, which is a must-have characteristic in today’s world.
She has two personal goals. One is to become a certified Professional in Human Resources. The other one is to do ten consecutive pushups. And to her I say, “Go for it! We believe in you.”